Thank you Sherrie, Lisa, & Melinda.
I am happy to be in this fight with you!
Just before we really knew what was coming, I got a referral from a primary care office one Friday. The social worker had a husband and wife who needed help right away.
Jim and his wife have been together since they were 13! A happy marriage with lots of adventure. They shared a passion for motorcycles like few others. He would build them, and SHE would race them.
While this story is beautiful and unique, it shares a sad copy theme. Dementia. Jim's love of his life Lucy has dementia and it has started to progress. Jim made careful arrangements to get he and his wife the help they both needed, but alas, he had not succeeded because there was no one to help guide him. The community he chose for his wife would not accept her- she was too physically healthy and active, and it would not be a good fit according to this community. I have to say, they were not wrong. But Jim felt defeated, and he was worn out. He needed help because he did not know what to do next.
Enter Maintain Me. Due to Lucy's type of dementia, she was extremely anxious. Any phone calls to the house, visitors she did not know, or unexpected occurrences sent her reeling. So we had to get creative. I met Jim at the primary care office that had seen the couple for years, and the doctor, social worker, and staff knew Lucy and Jim very well. I have to applaud this primary care office because they had called an emergency action plan meeting for COVID-19 at the same time we were supposed to meet there. The news was just starting to become real, we were all still so unsure-- but they made time and space for us to consult and make a plan.
Jim and I were able to sneak in a couple brief tours with extreme precaution before the visitation ban was put in place, before social distancing was even being practiced by most. We all discussed the protocols, understanding the risks to mitigate, but also knowing that if we did not get Lucy into care quickly, there would be an emergency.
Jim found a community and he said "I can see Lucy living here" . The first step, and a significant one. During the tour, one of the employees, not even a caregiver, happened to pop in and introduce herself. Turns out, she too was in the motorcycle racing family! Did the Universe align or what? This employee offices out of the community that Jim chose for his wife, and she said she would personally keep an eye out for Lucy, and be a support in her new home. I have never been so grateful for someone to step forward like this--what a blessing!
The team work that followed was second to none. The primary care office social worker, the Administrator from the memory care, Jim and myself worked efficiently over the next few days, knowing our chance to make this transition safely was hanging on a wire. We had to prevent exposure, keep everyone safe, follow all state and government recommendations, but still get someone fragile settled into a new home. I am so proud of what we accomplished for this family.
Lucy has been in her new home a couple days, but Jim can not visit his wife. Heartbreaking reality. But enter silver lining... The employee that shares the love of motorcycles is taking her in. And when she can't be there, she has pre-programmed Lucy's TV with YouTube videos of racing, and this is an instant comfort to her, she loves to watch them. Lucy has also found a friend who she chats with socially, and she has not yet shown any of the more pronounced effects of her dementia in hallucinations and delusions. Jim has had his first full night of rest in 6 months. I will continue to closely monitor the couple, keep alerted of ways we can support the memory care and its staff, and continue to rally around the amazing people who are caring for our most vulnerable population, right now.
If anyone reading this wants to know how they can show love and rally around our older adults living in care, and the people taking care of them--send me a note! I will happily connect you to people and ideas so we can share love from a distance.
Morgan Leigh Jenkins
Transition Director
(303) 847-6861
Morgan@maintain-me.com