I received a referral from a geriatric physician group that I work with frequently. They refer to me knowing that I have never told them no, even when things look dire or difficult.
This particular call was regarding a gentleman whose dementia symptoms were beginning to progress to aggression and violence directed at his wife,
his primary caregiver.
This tragic reality can be a part of dementia, but this does not mean it is the person. It means the brain's damage has affected the central processing areas enough that acting out in frustration can lead to hitting, etc.
This lovely couple had been married 45 years, and his wife was clear, this is not my husband doing this. I assured her, you are correct.
In situations like this, the treatment is a combination of set and setting. This gentleman was trying to make his needs known, in this case, he wanted to go outside, and could not comprehend or process why it would not be safe: He could fall, he could become lost, he could be hit by a car. His family was telling him "no" that is all he knew, and it was frustrating him! Then he acted out.
In a memory care setting, which is what was now needed, the staff are trained to redirect, they are trained to interpret the acting out as trying to make a need known, and they are a secured setting where they could allow him to safely exit into a yard that was equipped to keep him safe because it was secure.
As a family member trying to do their best, they may or may not have these tools or even know where to find the answers. They may get frustrated as well, and have their own "acting out" moment of yelling or anger at the situation, and this only makes matters worse. No one is in the wrong in this situation! We are all just doing the best that we can.
With my amazing community partners, we were able to find safe, affordable memory care within about 48 hours of receiving the referral.
Incredible in this time of COVID and unknown! It would not have been possible without the technology to do a virtual assessment, the prompt support of the primary care physician, the willingness of the community to understand that the gentleman needed specialty care to address the behaviors and they were willing to give him the opportunity.
With this referral, the wife was at the edge, she felt as though she might break. The next step after the call to primary care was to take her husband to the emergency room, she was worried about her own life and her dear husband. We were able to prevent her from losing her ground, keep this man out of the ER, and get them both the care they needed.
Success.
Morgan Leigh Jenkins
Transition Director
(303) 847-6861
Morgan@maintain-me.com